Horrifying Hats in Doctor Who

Next week is Halloween, so it’s time for things to get scary in the Junkyard!  So what is the most creepy and troubling thing about Doctor Who?  The horrifying choices of hats people wear, of course.  The Doctor himself loves a hat, and we are all familiar with this, right from day one:

Hartnell

But the First Doctor liked to mix it up a bit.  Some of his choices were relatively sensible:

DMP

…like this natty number.  But sometimes his choices were a bit more “out there”.

reign of terror

Handy for dusting high shelves.  When it comes to hats, of course, size matters.

Massacre 2

Poor Steven is obviously upset that he doesn’t have a hat that is too tall to fit on the television screen.  The Second Doctor also loved a big hat:

Troughton stovepipe

The taller the better…

Macra Terror

… in fact, his catchphrase in his first few stories was “I would like a hat like that”.  The audience wouldn’t always agree:

underwater menace

… and eventually he learnt to go with the understated look:

Krotons

Zoe is clearly horrified by his lack of taste there, and eventually she showed him how it’s done:

war games

She still doesn’t look convinced.  You see, wearing a hat is not just about the choice of headwear.  It’s how you wear it.  The Doctor can barely see under that hat, and Zoe is ably demonstrating the “rakish angle”.  Others managed that well too:

Faceless Ones

That’s how it should be done.

Pertwee hat

… or like that.

spearhead

No.  Not that.

romana school hat

… but stuck to the back of your head doesn’t qualify as a “rakish angle”.  Look, Turlough will show you how it’s done:

Mawdryn

Or maybe not.

Missy

That’s more like it.  That, ladies and gentleman, is how you combine “rakish angle” and fruit, as only Missy can, although Romana has a good try:

romana hat

But misses out the rakish angle, and goes heavy on the fruit.  There’s almost more fruit than head there.  That’s a common mistake.  Hats should not make a head look small.  This is fine:

Giuliano Masque

Tasteful, rakishly angled, a hint of military.  This is too big:

Sunmakers

and this is just silly:

Archimandrite

and so is this:

Keys of Marinus Judge

But if you must have a big hat, you might as well find one that’s handy:

faceofevil

This one can double up as a swimming hat:

Moonbase

This one gives you a spare hat in case you lose one:

castrovalva1

and this one you could just pretend is your own luscious hair:

Ribos Operation

Ever looked for a rubbish bin and couldn’t find one?  Why not just wear your own:

castrovalva2

… or a lampshade and curtains:

Eleanor_The-Lady-Wessex

… or an axe:

Robots of Death 2

… or a toothpick:

Dragonfire

… or a flower-pot:

Barbara Aztecs

Want to hide in the crowd?  Lose yourself amongst a sea of faces?  Doctor Who has the answer:

snakedance fool hat

But it is more important for hats to be practical (or practicable, as the Second Doctor would say).  You don’t really want to be steaming up your hat because it makes your head too hot:

Carnival of Monsters

It’s better to ventilate:

savages edal

A hat can also cover part of the face, if appropriate:

Robots of Death 1

… but not too much:

Invisible Enemy

Take care that your hat matches your outfit:

Dodo

It is also important to wear something appropriate for the weather:

Troughton beanie

Here’s Nardole’s homage to Troughton:

Matt-Lucas-Doctor-Who

… with added bobble.  And here’s how to really do an homage to a Doctor:

Horror of Fang Rock

and even better still:

Romana toms hat

Sometimes a hat should be a reflection of the mood we are in.  Festive, maybe:

tennant cracker hat

or Very Festive:

wilf2

… or just simply insane.

Snakedance

Those are the really scary hats in Doctor Who: the ones that hint at an unhinged personality.  Like this:

Paradise Towers

… or this dubious double act:

Sylvester-McCoy-and-Ken-Dodd

Now that really is scary.  But we must remember one thing, above all else, when it comes to Doctor Who and hats.  Fezzes are cool:

Tenant-fez

Happy Halloween.  Don’t have nightmares.

Tegan Logopolis

RP

About Roger Pocock

Author of windowsintohistory.wordpress.com Co-writer on junkyard.blog Editor of frontiersmenhistorian.info
This entry was posted in Doctor Who, Entertainment, Random Chatter, Science Fiction and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Horrifying Hats in Doctor Who

  1. scifimike70 says:

    It just occurs to me after seeing your picture selections how Colin Douglas as Reuben might have looked, during his secondary role as the Rutan disguised as Reuben that is, if he hadn’t worn that black toque. Personally I agree that the toque in that sense was a creepily good idea. So thanks for including it here. Happy Halloween. 🎃

    Like

  2. Wow! Now I have. Lampshade and spare hat were the best. I don’t know most of the people… but your commentary was superb!

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s